5 Reasons Your Child Behaves For Everyone But You And How To Solve It.

Ever feel like you’re the only parent whose child won’t listen? You set rules and give warnings, and still, they misbehave! Yet, in front of others, they’re perfect angels.

It’s maddening, right? Don’t worry—you’re not alone. Let’s explore why this happens and how to fix it.

1. Not Setting Clear Consequences

We’ve all been there. You try to be Super Mom, but sometimes you’re too tired to fight. So, you let things slide.

But without clear consequences, kids think they can get away with anything. Imagine if you had a magic formula for setting boundaries that worked every time!

Solution:

• Set age-appropriate consequences. If your 2-year-old throws a tantrum, don’t take away their favorite toy. Instead, have them take a short break in their room.

• Be fair and logical. If your 5-year-old doesn’t clean up, maybe they miss out on screen time rather than grounding them for a week.

• Follow through. If you say you’ll take away TV time, do it. Consistency is key!

Example: When Tommy, age 4, refused to pick up his toys, his mom decided that the next time he didn’t clean up, he wouldn’t be allowed to watch his favorite cartoon in the evening. She followed through, and Tommy quickly learned to tidy up after playtime.

2. Not Following Through With Punishments

Ever find yourself warning your child but never actually following through?

Letting it slide is tempting, especially when they give you those puppy eyes. But kids quickly learn that your threats are empty.

Solution:

• Be consistent with your punishments. If you say no dessert for a week, stick to it.

• Don’t back down, even if they throw a fit. Kids need to learn that actions have consequences.

• Pick your battles. Focus on big issues and let the small stuff go sometimes.

Example: Emily, age 6, was warned that if she continued to throw her toys, she’d lose her playtime outside. After failing to heed the warning, her mom ensured she stayed inside while her siblings played outside. It only took one missed playtime for Emily to start treating her toys better.

3. Trying to Be Their Friend Instead of Their Parent

We all want to be liked by our kids. But trying to be their friend can lead to confusion. Kids need a parent who sets rules and boundaries.

Solution:

• Remember, you’re the authority. Set rules and be firm about them.

• Show love and support, but maintain your role as a guide.

• Balance fun times with clear expectations.

Example: Josh, age 7, started expecting the same privileges as his mom’s adult friends during movie nights, such as staying up late. Mom had to enforce bedtime rules to remind him that while they can have fun, she is still in charge of setting boundaries.

4. Being Too Permissive

Finding the balance between strictness and permissivity can be challenging. However, being too lenient can lead to bigger issues.

Solution:

• Set limits to make your child feel secure.

• Teach them that they can’t always get what they want.

• Help them understand that their actions have consequences, making them more independent.

Example: When Sara, age 5, would have a meltdown over not getting candy at the store, her dad started a routine of discussing what behavior is expected before they go shopping and reminding her that good behavior means getting a treat after shopping, not during. This clear boundary reduced tantrums over time.

5. Arguing Instead of Disciplining

It’s easy to lose your cool and argue with your child. However, arguments often lead to unrealistic punishments and strained relationships.

Solution:

• Stay calm and communicate standards clearly.

• Avoid making your child feel like they’re always in trouble.

• Remember, you’re not enemies; you’re their guide and support.

Example: During a particularly stressful morning, Mia, age 6, refused to get ready for school. Instead of arguing, her mom took a deep breath, laid out the consequences clearly (no TV after school if she wasn’t ready on time), and stuck to them when Mia tested the limits. Mia now understands morning expectations better.

Final Thoughts

Disciplining kids isn’t easy, but it’s crucial for their growth. By setting clear boundaries, being consistent, and maintaining your role as a parent, you can help your child learn right from wrong.

If they behave well for others, they can do it for you too! Stick with these strategies and watch as your child obeys and respects you more each day.