5 Things I Swore I’d Never Do as a Mom — Until I Actually Became One

Let me take you back to a time before I had kids. You know, back when I was so sure of how I’d handle this whole parenting thing. I had a mental checklist of things I’d never do as a parent. I was going to be that zen, organized, sugar-free, screen-free, tantrum-taming guru of a parent. Other parents would look at me and think, “Wow, how does she do it?”

Well, reality hit like a toddler running at full speed with sticky hands, and let me tell you — it shattered every illusion I had. But the things I ended up doing? They’re the stuff of parenting legend. If you’re thinking, “Nah, I’d never do that!” — buckle up. I’ve got five confessions that will make you either laugh in recognition, or be very, very afraid of your future.

And let me warn you: what I admitted to in number three? I never thought I’d share that publicly, but here we are.

1. “I’ll Never Use Screens as a Babysitter”

Ah, the screen-time debate. I used to sit on my high horse, watching kids glued to iPads and think, “My child will be raised in the light of books, art, and nature.” It felt so noble. So right. I mean, why would I ever need a screen when I’d be reading them Shakespeare before bed and teaching them to love puzzles?

Yeah, about that.

Cut to me in the middle of a grocery store, clutching my sanity with both hands while my kid decides now is the time for a full-on meltdown over… well, I don’t even know. The solution?

The Magical Tablet. That glorious rectangle that can quiet even the loudest, angriest human child with a single swipe. You know the one. Just a quick YouTube video, and suddenly I could finish shopping in peace.

And you know what? I felt guilty for five seconds before realizing I’d just saved my entire day. Was this the moment I surrendered? Maybe. But more importantly, it was the moment I survived.

If you haven’t reached for a screen in a moment of desperation, just wait. Your time will come.

Sometimes, a little screen time isn’t just about giving yourself a break—it’s about embracing the fact that balance is the real key to parenting. Sure, we all want our kids to be active and engaged, but taking those moments for yourself is just as important. And guess what? They’re still going to turn out fine. Kids are resilient, and so are you.

2. “I’ll Never Bribe My Kids”

You think you’ll raise little angels who listen because they’re naturally well-behaved, right? HA. I thought the same thing. I’d say to myself, “Bribery? Never! My children will learn intrinsic motivation. They’ll behave because it’s the right thing to do.” I even pictured myself smiling smugly while my well-mannered child listened the first time.

Spoiler alert: intrinsic motivation goes out the window when a toddler wants to light the world on fire.

So there I was, in the middle of a Target (yes, Target, where parenting dreams die). My child has locked eyes with a toy they MUST have, and I’m knee-deep in a standoff. The screaming begins. The crying escalates. There are no peaceful parenting techniques that can save me now.

“Fine! Ice cream! Just stop screaming!”

I said it. I bribed my kid, right there, in front of everyone. And it worked. And you know what? The sheer relief of walking out of that store without further humiliation was worth every single sugar-filled bribe.

If you think you’ll never bribe your kid, wait until the first public tantrum. You’ll be bartering like a pro in no time.

Bribery gets a bad rap, but let’s be real—it’s not about manipulation; it’s about compromise. Teaching your kids that there’s a reward for good behavior is a life lesson. We all work better with a little incentive, and so do they.

And here’s the bigger truth: it’s okay to pick your battles. Some days, a bribe is just a clever way to get everyone through the day.

3. “My Kids Won’t Eat Junk Food”

Ah yes, the great organic dream. Before I had kids, I was convinced my children would eat only the finest foods. Organic, home-cooked, and filled with all the nutrients. I’d seen other parents hand their kids fast food, and I’d think, “Not me. My kids will be eating carrots and quinoa while yours are chowing down on fries.”

Cut to me, one year into motherhood, running on zero sleep, staring down a fast-food menu with my toddler screaming for nuggets. I caved. Those fries were a lifesaver, and that greasy little bag of salvation? Let’s just say, it’s become a weekly tradition now.

I hate to admit it, but sometimes, you need the guaranteed win, and fast food? It’s the ace in the hole.

Here’s the kicker — I once watched my kid dunk their broccoli in ranch dressing, and you know what I did? I cheered. Whatever works, right?

If you think your kid won’t ever touch junk food, you just haven’t met the right level of exhaustion yet.

Look, food is fuel. Yes, we want to give our kids the best nutrition possible, but it’s also important to teach them that life is about balance. Sometimes, it’s okay to grab the quick fix. And here’s the kicker—those occasional nuggets and fries?

They’re not going to ruin them. What really matters is the overall picture, not every single meal. Flexibility keeps you sane, and it teaches your kids to enjoy life’s simple pleasures, without guilt.

4. “I’ll Never Be the Parent With the Gigantic Diaper Bag”

You know the one. The bag that looks like the parent is moving in for the day. I used to see those parents hauling around half their house in one enormous bag and think, “Why do they need all that? How hard can it be?”

So there I was, in my first few months of parenthood, toting around a sleek, trendy diaper bag with just the essentials. I felt like I had this minimalist parenting thing down. Until the day it all went to pieces.

My child had a diaper explosion that would have made headlines. I was out of wipes, out of diapers, and completely out of patience.

From that day on, I carried a bag big enough to survive anything. Extra snacks, extra outfits, extra everything. You name it, I’ve got it.

So, when you see me rolling up to the park with a bag that could double as emergency preparedness gear, don’t judge. I learned the hard way that you can never be too prepared when you’re dealing with tiny humans.

Over-preparing doesn’t make you crazy—it makes you smart. Parenting is unpredictable, and being ready for anything means you’re prepared for those unexpected moments that will happen.

It’s not about carrying more stuff; it’s about peace of mind. And if that means packing for every possible scenario, so be it. Parenting is about being resourceful, and trust me, the bigger the bag, the fewer disasters you’ll have to navigate.

5. “I’ll Never Let My Kids Sleep in My Bed”

This one. Oh, this one. The hill I swore I’d die on. I had big dreams of my child sleeping soundly in their own bed while I basked in the glorious quiet of my adult sanctuary. My bed was sacred. Kid-free. A peaceful oasis where sleep reigned supreme.

Then came the first night of teething. Or was it the fever? The nightmare? I don’t even remember anymore. All I know is I blinked, and somehow my toddler was not only in my bed but dominating it.

I now sleep on a sliver of mattress while a tiny human flails around like they own the place. How does a child so small take up so much room? It’s a mystery for the ages.

I’ll say it now: co-sleeping isn’t something you choose. It’s something that happens to you. You’re not in charge; you’re just trying to make it through the night.

If you think you’ll never share your bed, give it time. Your resolve will break at 2 AM when you’re just trying to get a couple of hours of sleep.

Co-sleeping isn’t a failure—it’s a choice that works for many families. And sometimes, it’s what your kid needs. Sure, there are nights when you’d love to have your space back, but there are also moments where you look over at your sleeping child and realize that these moments won’t last forever. Kids grow up. They’ll be back in their own beds eventually, and when that happens, you might just miss these cuddle-filled, chaotic nights.

The Parenting Rules We Swore We’d Never Break

Here’s the thing: before you have kids, you’re full of ideals. You swear you’ll be different. But once you’re in the trenches, those promises unravel faster than a cheap sweater. The reality is, we’re all just figuring this out as we go.

And the rules you swore you’d never break? They end up being the ones you laugh at most in hindsight.

So, here’s to all the promises we made before we knew better. Because parenting is about flexibility, survival, and, above all, not taking yourself too seriously.

Now I’m curious—what’s the one thing you said you’d never do as a parent, until reality hit? Drop it in the comments. Let’s laugh (and cry) together over how little we actually knew.